he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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