it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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