People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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