dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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