You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
