Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
