Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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