whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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