Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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