Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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