I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Alive.
So much puke
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
