I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.