All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
