remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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