Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
