i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
