You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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