i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize