There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Someone shit on the floor
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize