living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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