im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
