its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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