I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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