Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
