Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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