Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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