If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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