i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
