ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
