Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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