You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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