maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
