Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize