Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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