it hurts more in the daytime
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
