No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The best revenge is premature balding
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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