Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
