It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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