Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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