I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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