Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
