I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
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I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
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So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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