She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
