Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
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