3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
