I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
