I am puke
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize