she was so not down for the gang bang
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
