areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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