What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
