there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
