Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
