Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
