did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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