I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
