Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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