I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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